Feelings of being alive

Seriously, we are all living our days.. day in and day out.. but how often do you feel that you are alive? Do you feel alive when you are happy? Or do you feel alive when you are hanging out with your crews and homies? How about feeling alive when you are with your loved one?

I once read a book with a statement which is quite interesting. It says that all human beings have the same ultimate destiny, which is.. death. But how often do we feel alive when we are still living? You see, during our process of growing up, we have somehow been set to a basic of routine where the MAJORITIES think is the CORRECT way to live. Study hard when you are young. Go to a good college or uni. Get a job with high pay and good social status. Thats what you call living. What if you do not follow the CORRECT way? Well, unless you succeed in this societies, or else you will be setting an example for the future generation to NOT to follow. Probably, they will say.. "look at him, thats the price for been not studying hard when you are young, and cant get a good job blah blah blah" If you break all the rules and not been succeeding in your life, you are outcasted. But what if you breaks the rules and succeed? People will say, damn, this guy is smart, this guy is lucky, you know that he didnt even study.. blah blah blah
Ironic? How truth is it? You should know..

The funny thing is.. I have been breaking all the rules during my younger days.. Not really successful now but not that bad either. I can get what i want, just need to work for it. But how far can i go and how far can i climb? Lets see which kinda judgment i get when i am dead.. At least when i leave this world, i can proudly tell myself that I have lived!!

Black and White, its called Simplicity

Take some time to reflect.. during all these yrs, just how much we have changed? It doesnt matter if its for the better or the worse, my point is, we have changed.

Remember the time when we were still kids? We thought that everything is divided into the side of good and bad, black and white. Our world was so simple because of such simplicity. As we slowly grow older.. we began to see more and understand more.. Sadly, most of us come to a conclusion that there is no certainty between the black and white. We have discovered a new area which is called "gray". This area, ironically, tells us that the goods are not always goods and the bads are not always what it seems to be. Complicated? Not really.. it can be explained in a single word though. Its called "corruption".

Freedom VS Responsibility

Can freedom and responsibility co-exists? Well, for me.. I truly dun think so.. They are just like Fire and Water, God and Satan, Angels and Demons.. stuff like that. You can only choose one of them at each given situation. Yeah.. some smart arse will come telling you that you need to "Balance" it out? Hello, can both freedom and responsibility be weight?

Still remember the time when we are running wild and not a care in the world? We create havoc by turning the world upside down? As you grow older.. you find it harder to do the stuff you used to do it back then huh? You call yourself mature or is it the responsibility in you that had been tied-ing you down? Will we be able to ignore the responsibility towards our family, our friends, our love ones and just proceed to do what we really wanted to do deep down? Most of us can't.. because we know that there is a debt to be paid

So.. until the day we cleared off the debts.. can we be who we really are?

Crossroads

Not the first time setting up a blog.. the last one didnt survive very nicely.. been busy.. thats what i told myself.. doesnt everybody? We are too caught up with our life.. too busy to stop to breath..

So why blogging again now you asked? Maybe too much had been going on for this past 2 yrs. Too much on my mind.. Maybe I could just let something out here right?

Crossroads.. How many times in our life do we have to face it? It feels that something in your life need to change. Feels like its time to make a decision. Feels like its time to leave the comfort zone again.. This feelings had been haunting me since last year.. and i can feel that its actually consuming my mind now.. Wise men says we should learn to appreciate the things around us.. Appreciation is the key to happiness.. Bullshits! Appreciation only makes your mind weak.. Appreciation makes you settle for the lesser things in life.. If you wanna be at the mountaintop.. you just have to keep on climbing.. If you wanna be the best warrior in life.. you just have to keep on fighthing..

Appreciation can come when you are at your golden age.. when you are too weak to even walk yourself to toilet to pee.. thats when you should start dwelling on appreciation.. So yeah.. I have made the decision.. Its time to say goodbye.. for the better or for the worse